If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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