I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
