No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
3pm strippers are depressing
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
