its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
