woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize