yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
