sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
whose parrot is this?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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