i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
