How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
