Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Houston, we have a blender
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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