yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
