1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
