I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
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Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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