make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
the raccoons are back...
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