a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
