I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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