Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
