We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
