In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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