3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
