This gyro tastes like lonliness
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
