you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
