I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Never let your siblings swipe right.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
