Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
