dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I could make wine with my vomit
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
