Swine flu. Run for my life!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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