If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
