my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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