TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
be right there i have to get my cape
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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