I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
