Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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