I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
