why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
