there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
