i was born a porn star she said
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
