I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
