don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
