turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
