My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
