U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
