tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
