And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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