I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
