Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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