why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
even my farts smell like vagina
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I love having hate sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
