question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
