how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
