I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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