Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My liver just broke up with me...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
