Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
