Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize