I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
babies were throwing up all over the place
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
