11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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