This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
