Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
