I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize