I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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