Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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